You actually do become less and less impressed with the height risk. The initial battle within me was fierce but five years later, I was part of crew replacing the top 25 feet of a smoke stack liner, 630 feet high. I did work with some guys that were too acclimated and causal with it.
Thank you, Kara. I love the story of Jacob wrestling with the Angel of the Lord and limping because of the injury to his hip. One time, a new friend and I were getting to know each other over dinner. He looked at me through kind eyes and asked me: “What did you have to go through that made you walk with a limp?”
“It takes one to know one.” I so appreciated your piece on this revered story, particularly your application…
“Blessing” does not always look like running slow motion with Jesus through a sunlit field of golden grass. Sometimes it looks remarkably like a man, hip broken, clothes torn, slogging his way through a raging river. But he bears a new name, because he held on 'all night.'”
Like Reb Tevye, we know we are sill loved when our circumstances do not change. Why? Because we can still hear the music. Thank you, Kara, for a few frames of an old, old story of Jesus and His love.
When I was twenty, my high school buddy Steve called asking if I’d be interested in a job as a welder apprentice. His dad was the construction Superintendent of the 900 tradesmen needed to build local power plants. As he describes the job, he asks, are you ok with heights? I thought, yeah, I’ve climbed dozens of trees, fearlessly. Yeah, I’m good.
After two years of performing entry level welding, I trained and tested for the structural steel welding certification and reported to the site foreman for assignment. I need you up there Eaton, pointing 90 feet high to a 2’x4’ makeshift wooden work platform called a float. It had large ropes from each corner used to drape over and tie to the structural steel, positioned to enable you to stand and weld on the girder web (vertical side). Appropriately named float. I sat and slowly scooted myself and tool bucket across the beam and down onto the float. But that 30 foot journey felt like a nightmare. The inward battle began. A gripping fear was in command of my attention. I had a slow motion video of falling in midair. I wore a safety belt with a single lanyard which connected to the temporary 3/8 cable but even this was subjected to what if’s. Think panic but still physically moving. The things unseen were having its way with me. The hater of my soul screamed, you’re an idiot! There’s a saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. Storms reveal reality, I was not ok with heights was reality. I told the Lord, one of two things is going to happen, either You have to enable me to overcome this or find me another job. At lunchtime my boss asked, how ya doing up there Eaton? He knew, everybody was easily seen. I’m pretty nervous. Ok, work over here the rest of the day and have another go in a few days.
God made me understand the point of conflict was what I gave my attention to in the moment. And I can choose better. Also how to counteract the barrage of terror with declarations of truth. Within days I was back out on the steel, only higher. I acknowledged God. Not religiously, but forcefully. I acknowledged His provision in me, His stuff in me, around me and personally. Desperate times require desperate measures. Storms can take you places you will never go otherwise. He showed me the steady pathway to overcome fear, all kinds, fear of death was the most consequential. New ways become new habits and new habits enable new ways.
So, I agree with you Kara, we don’t have to take no as final.
Oh, I love this! "...either You have to enable me to overcome this or find me another job." So very true. It reminds me of Moses saying "if your Presence will not go with us, do not send us up!" In your case, it was a literal "up." I cannot imagine. Thank you for telling this story!
You actually do become less and less impressed with the height risk. The initial battle within me was fierce but five years later, I was part of crew replacing the top 25 feet of a smoke stack liner, 630 feet high. I did work with some guys that were too acclimated and causal with it.
Thank you, Kara. I love the story of Jacob wrestling with the Angel of the Lord and limping because of the injury to his hip. One time, a new friend and I were getting to know each other over dinner. He looked at me through kind eyes and asked me: “What did you have to go through that made you walk with a limp?”
“It takes one to know one.” I so appreciated your piece on this revered story, particularly your application…
“Blessing” does not always look like running slow motion with Jesus through a sunlit field of golden grass. Sometimes it looks remarkably like a man, hip broken, clothes torn, slogging his way through a raging river. But he bears a new name, because he held on 'all night.'”
Like Reb Tevye, we know we are sill loved when our circumstances do not change. Why? Because we can still hear the music. Thank you, Kara, for a few frames of an old, old story of Jesus and His love.
Thank you so much, Glen. Watching others persevere has taught me so much, I feel like I've been surrounded by spiritual giants my whole life!
Thanks, Glen. Your comment here captures so much. The Tevya reference has been bouncing through my conversations today.
Tormenting fear comes in all shapes and sizes trying to disengage us from childlike trust.
When I was twenty, my high school buddy Steve called asking if I’d be interested in a job as a welder apprentice. His dad was the construction Superintendent of the 900 tradesmen needed to build local power plants. As he describes the job, he asks, are you ok with heights? I thought, yeah, I’ve climbed dozens of trees, fearlessly. Yeah, I’m good.
After two years of performing entry level welding, I trained and tested for the structural steel welding certification and reported to the site foreman for assignment. I need you up there Eaton, pointing 90 feet high to a 2’x4’ makeshift wooden work platform called a float. It had large ropes from each corner used to drape over and tie to the structural steel, positioned to enable you to stand and weld on the girder web (vertical side). Appropriately named float. I sat and slowly scooted myself and tool bucket across the beam and down onto the float. But that 30 foot journey felt like a nightmare. The inward battle began. A gripping fear was in command of my attention. I had a slow motion video of falling in midair. I wore a safety belt with a single lanyard which connected to the temporary 3/8 cable but even this was subjected to what if’s. Think panic but still physically moving. The things unseen were having its way with me. The hater of my soul screamed, you’re an idiot! There’s a saying, “you don’t know what you don’t know”. Storms reveal reality, I was not ok with heights was reality. I told the Lord, one of two things is going to happen, either You have to enable me to overcome this or find me another job. At lunchtime my boss asked, how ya doing up there Eaton? He knew, everybody was easily seen. I’m pretty nervous. Ok, work over here the rest of the day and have another go in a few days.
God made me understand the point of conflict was what I gave my attention to in the moment. And I can choose better. Also how to counteract the barrage of terror with declarations of truth. Within days I was back out on the steel, only higher. I acknowledged God. Not religiously, but forcefully. I acknowledged His provision in me, His stuff in me, around me and personally. Desperate times require desperate measures. Storms can take you places you will never go otherwise. He showed me the steady pathway to overcome fear, all kinds, fear of death was the most consequential. New ways become new habits and new habits enable new ways.
So, I agree with you Kara, we don’t have to take no as final.
Thanks for triggering my recall.
Oh, I love this! "...either You have to enable me to overcome this or find me another job." So very true. It reminds me of Moses saying "if your Presence will not go with us, do not send us up!" In your case, it was a literal "up." I cannot imagine. Thank you for telling this story!
Oh, Frank, what a good, but harrowing, example.